A friend recently asked me what my Myers-Briggs personality type was. (If you don’t know what that is and you’d like to learn more, click here!) I believe pretty strongly in the Myers-Briggs test—knowing what types some of my friends and family members are has definitely allowed me to understand them better—but that particular test doesn’t work so well for me. I test as an ISTJ, which stands for Introvert/Sensing/Thinking/Judging. But I always end up right on the borderline of the two middle letters, with less than a one percent difference between sensing/intuition and thinking/feeling. Also, I’m not a J at heart—all my J behaviors (like planning things in advance and completing tasks by their deadlines) are learned, because the world is set up for Js and it’s much easier to act like one. So giving people my Myers-Briggs letters doesn’t actually tell them much about me.
But I figured there had to be SOME online tests that could tell you more about me. So I just spent a few hours taking them, trying to determine how well the internet knows me. Here are my results. Click on any test name to go take the test yourself, and report back on your results!
Firstly and most importantly, I took the UNIVERSAL FANDOM TEST. Here are my results:
I turned out disappointingly human, overall, but I am pretty pleased with my Doctor status, my Ravenclaw status, and the fact that I get to hang out with Rue in District 11. I disagree with my Abegnation classification, though… I think I’m more of an Amity. Bring on the banjos and hydroponic trees!
Result: Pure Nerd. This sounds about right. The test results told me that nerds are passionate about learning/being smart/academia, whereas geeks are passionate about a particular area or subject (often obscure,) and dorks are just socially awkward. I tested 78% nerd.
Result: Journalist. Based on my score of 62 intelligence, 45 diligence, 42 charisma, and 55 compassion, it suggested I might also be a good novelist, poet, or librarian. Good job, internet! Well spotted! (However, I’m a little offended that my intelligence was only ranked at 62.)
Result: Sofia Coppola. Meh. I don’t dislike Sofia Coppola, but I wouldn’t exactly call myself a fan… I find her films a bit masturbatory. According to this test, the film of my life would be 23% romantic, 30% comedy, 38% complex plot, and it would have a $23 million budget. (What’s the other 9%? Just filler? Maybe that would be the part with all the explosions.)
Result: Angel. OH GOD, WHY, INTERNET, WHY?! Angel is so bland and broody and irritating! He’s nearly my least favorite character on the entire show, second only to Dawn. (At least he has a few good moments when he’s evil.) I am a huge Buffy fan, and this legitimately upsets me. I know I’m not cool enough to be Spike, but couldn’t I at least have been Willow or Giles?
Result: Rabbit, doormouse, dik-dik, or sighthound. (I clearly don’t remember parts of the Dark Materials books, because I don’t know what dik-diks or sighthounds are.) My daemon would apparently reflect my shyness and sensitivity, my love of family, and my tendancy to hide my feelings from strangers. It would sit in my pocket or on my shoulder and whisper comfort into my ear. I’ll take it—that sounds nice.
Result: I would survive 55% of the horrible situations covered by this test, and my certain death rate was only 25%! I’m more resourceful than I thought!
Result: The west coast. Huh. I was born in the midwest and have been living on the east coast for the last twelve years. Maybe I’m doing something wrong?
Result: The Queen of Hearts. I am totally confused by this result. This test told me that I was very intelligent, always got good grades, and had a good head on my shoulders, but that my lack of kindness often left me playing alone. Really, internet? Then it told me to look for a man with “a nice head of flames and lots of time on his hands, like Hades, for a good match.” What a terrible result. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! I mean… um.
And my favorite test of all…
Result: I should marry Bill Weasley. I will totally take that! I’m particuarly fond of the explanation this test gave me: “You like guys who are cool. And not cool in that fake, dicky way, but actually cool. He’s so cool that they couldn’t find any actor to adequately portray him, so they decided to just leave him out of the movies rather than risk not doing justice to his coolness. He’s like the Chuck Norris of Harry Potter: plain freaking awesome. When Voldemort says “You-Know-Who”, he’s talking about Bill Weasley.”
And we could make such beautiful redheaded children together, Bill and I.
Leave me your results in comments!