Alison Cherry Books

Middle Grade and Young Adult Author of Red, For Real, and other books.

“I Will Revise”

By

It’s been a while since I wrote you guys a song. This one goes out to everyone who’s in the Revision Cave with me. I’m raising a glass to you.

See the rest of you in the spring…

“I WILL REVISE”
(to be sung to the tune of “I Will Survive,” with massive apologies to Gloria Gaynor)

 

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
Kept staring bug-eyed at your comments while my mouth gaped wide,
And then I spent a sleepless night tellin’ myself that you were wrong,
But now I’m strong,
And I admit my book’s too long.
 
So now I’m back, Revision Cave!
I’m here to gorge myself on take-out 
And become this story’s slave.
I’m gonna cut that info-dump,
I’m gonna scrap the prologue, too,
And then I’ll only have another hundred-thousand things to do.
 
Go on now, go! Walk out the door!
I’ve got no time now, so we can’t hang out anymore.
I know just yesterday I promised you a date,
But the clock is ticking, so you gotta leave me to my fate.
 
Oh yeah, yeah I
I will revise,
As the candy that I snack on goes directly to my thighs.
I’ve got just two months to work,
And I will act like such a jerk,
I will revise,
I will revise,
Hey, hey!
 
It takes all the strength I have not to fall apart,
Each time I hit “delete,” a bullet strikes my tender heart.
And I spend oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself,
I’m such a fraud, this book is infinitely flawed.
 
But in eight weeks, I’ll make it new!
I’ll be a shoo-in for the Printz Award when I am through.
All the prose will sparkle brightly, every metaphor will hit,
I can surely craft a diamond from this messy pile of shit.
 
No, really, GO! Walk out the door!
What did I tell you? WE CANNOT HANG OUT ANYMORE.
Oh, wait a second—are those cookies that I see?
You can come in for one minute. You’re so wonderful to me!
 
Oh yeah, yeah I
I will revise,
As my daily caffeine intake becomes more and more unwise.
I’ve not showered for a week,
And I seriously reek,
I will revise,
I will revise,
Hey, hey!

 

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