Can’t decide between Team Sparklepants and Team Abs-of-Steel? Now you can have both. Without further ado, I present to you… an original interspecies love song.* Happy Friday.
“I Kissed A Wolf (and I Liked It)”
To be sung to the tune of Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”
This was never the way I planned,
Not my intention.
My dad will never understand;
I broke convention.
For Jacob, I’ll rebel;
I snubbed him, I was wrong.
His heady mongrel smell
Caught my attention.
I kissed a wolf and I liked it,
The taste of his gooey dog spit,
I kissed a wolf just to try it,
I hope my Bella don’t mind it.
I’m so ashamed, he’s unrefined,
We vamps don’t mix with their kind.
But I kissed a wolf, and I liked it,
I liked it.
God, interspecies making out
Is so exciting,
That hair, that bod, that wolfy snout
Are so inviting.
It’s not what good vamps do,
Can’t help my appetite.
My fangs are descending,
Just one small bite…
I kissed a wolf and I liked it,
The taste of his gooey dog spit,
I kissed a wolf just to try it,
I hope my Bella don’t mind it.
He’s got a thing for babies, and
He probably has rabies,
But I kissed a wolf, and I liked it,
I liked it.
My coven thinks I’m a disgrace,
Hunting beside them is my place,
But now that we’ve been to first base,
All I want is home runs.
Play midnight baseball with me, Jake…
I kissed a wolf and I liked it,
The taste of his gooey dog spit,
I kissed a wolf just to try it,
I hope my Bella don’t mind it.
I touched his abs, they’re hard as quartz,
I want to rip off his jorts.
I kissed a wolf, and I liked it,
I liked it.
—-
*I originally wrote this song for www.foreveryoungadult.com, where it was posted this past June. So if you’ve seen it there, don’t worry. I’m not plagiarizing anyone but myself. 🙂
Haha! This is hilarious! Great job!
I wonder how awkward it will get for everyone else who loved this post when they realize that THIS POST IS A LOVE LETTER TO ME. BRB, finding good Rob/Taylor manips for your desktop background.