Ever wonder where I get my writing genes or my weird sense of humor? I have a little glimpse for you today.
My mom is a poet—check out her books here, here, here, here, and here—and she recently won an award in the humor category of the Poets and Patrons contest in Chicago. She doesn’t have a blog of her own, but this poem is way too amusing not to share. So I proudly present it to you here! Enjoy.
THE ALMIGHTY GOES ONLINE
Long after God said, “Let there be light”
and created the seas, the trees and plants,
the creatures with gills and legs and wings,
long after God created Eden, Adam and Eve,
God created a Facebook account
and said to Himself, “It is very good,”
knowing it was the fastest way
to communicate His every like,
to poke or un-friend the out-of-line,
to reward the righteous by writing praises
on their walls, to answer the question,
“What’s on your mind?”
simply by typing into a box.
To go with his profile, God selected
a photo of a burning bush
that he found on Google Images.
But He puzzled over the universe
of personal questions:
profession, birthday, residence.
What should he put for philosophy,
political views, personal heroes,
not to mention favorite movies, music, foods?
How could He stay unknowable
as the workings of an Internet search
and still convey His mighty will?
So as He’d done in the time of Noah,
God hit “delete” and started over,
creating, instead, a Twitter account,
where a multitude of followers
could read His constant stream of tweets
but learn only what He chose to disclose
about His what, where, when, and why
in 140 characters.