Things that will almost always make me pick up a book, even if I know nothing at all about it:
1) autistic narrators
2) freak shows (or carnivals in general)
3) circuses
4) cults of any kind
Songs I can never listen to again because I associate them with traumatic experiences:
1) “Drops of Jupiter,” Train
2) “Sing,” The Dresden Dolls
3) “Truly, Madly, Deeply,” Savage Garden
4) “Fire and Rain,” James Taylor
Pet peeves:
1) people who walk really slowly right in the middle of the sidewalk so you can’t pass them on either side
2) people who listen to music WITHOUT HEADPHONES on the subway
3) when people tweet about what they wish they were eating but are not actually eating
4) extraneous quotation marks on public signs
5) the word “organic” in any context except food
Chores I am worst at:
1) washing dishes (I always get bored and stop in the middle)
2) unpacking from trips
3) getting non-essential appliances repaired (my dishwasher has been broken for FOUR YEARS. You’d think I’d get it repaired, considering the aforementioned aversion to washing dishes. But… no.)
Useless skills:
1) remembering what people were wearing when we had certain conversations
2) carving wedding cakes out of watermelons
3) imitating the “wild eep” alert sound that use to be standard on Mac computers
Irrational fears I have:
1) being trapped indefinitely in a subway tunnel between stops
2) spontaneously developing a severe food allergy, eating said food, and going into shock
3) someone sneaking up on me while I’m washing my face so that I see them in the mirror when I look up (Note: I live alone.)
Things I have bizarrely never done:
1) opened a bottle of champagne
2) played tennis
3) visited Washington, D.C.
4) read HAMLET (though I have seen it multiple times)
The most disgusting tastes in the world:
1) banana Laffy Taffy
2) Delsym cough syrup, especially the purple kind
3) bloody mary Jelly Bellies
4) Dramamine (which does not even exist in liquid form, but you can still taste the pill after you swallow it. UGH.)
5) whiskey
Things that will never get old, no matter how many times I see/experience them:
1) being given free books by my agent/editor
2) the musical episode of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”
3) the book THE ARRIVAL by Shaun Tan
4) pretty much every Pixar movie
5) meeting someone in real life who says, “Oh, I know who you are,” because they read about my book online.
The fact that you have never been to Washington DC is utterly troublesome to me and must be rectified post-haste. Stat. Visit me NOW. I will show you the monuments and make you a pie.